OPINION: The five most often committed syllabus week crimes

Students began classes on Tuesday, Jan. 22 (photo by Will Rose).
Students began classes on Tuesday, Jan. 22 (photo by Will Rose).

Last week, we were all blessed with one of the best weeks of the semester: syllabus week.

Syllabus week is the one wondrous week in a semester where the student body is free of homework, and students can enjoy the free time to do whatever we please. However, this week is not perfect. With the good comes the bad, and rest of this column will be dedicated to the heinous crimes that some of you might have committed on multiple occasions—the five most often committed syllabus week crimes.

     1. Being “that guy/girl” on the first day:

In every class, no matter the subject, the first day is always crippled by                    that one individual who just doesn’t get it.

Whether they relentlessly ask questions which are already covered in the syllabus, or show up too energetic for a 9 a.m in which the rest of us look like hungover zombies, they are committing a crime and ruining the best class of the year for us all.

Please—just don’t be “that guy.”

     2. Using a campus map from the Information Desk:

It always irks me in the worst of ways when I’m trying to get through the North Plaza and I must divert my path because a freshman is too busy attempting to read those oversized campus maps from the info desk.

How do you avoid this problem, you might ask? Either subtly pull out your smart phone and check the online map like the rest of us, or look up your classes beforehand on a computer. I mean, really freshmen, is it that complicated?

     3. Congregating in the doorway:

Nothing grinds my gears more than when I’m trying to walk into a building but can’t because there’s a group of people chatting it up in the doorway.

Chances are, you are all talking about how great your winter break was. Let’s be honest, readers, you don’t really care what they did, and they probably couldn’t care less about what you did. You watched Netflix, occasionally worked and ate some home-cooked meals. Riveting conversation—on to the next one.

     4. Taking calculus/Arabic:

I think this one’s self-explanatory. Honestly guys, why torture yourself?

     5. Having the book on the first day:

You might think you’re being responsible by having your books on the first day. I disagree.

In fact, I find it fiscally irresponsible to have all your books on the first day. If you don’t even need the book, you just wasted valuable Chipotle money that could be used at a later date.

Take advantage of this week, people! To the guys, if you see a pretty girl who has her book already, just ask her to be “study partners!” And for the ladies, this is your opportunity to find that smart, over-achieving, law school-bound guy.

All in all, the good outweighs the bad. No matter how much you hate “that guy” or how much you dislike the inevitable generic small talk with past classmates, syllabus week still brings a smile to your face.

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