Why fake rivalries stink

Last week, Mason and George Washington University announced the beginning of the Revolutionary Rivalry, in which the two athletic departments will compete in a season-long series across all sports. Each school earns points from victories against the rival school. At the end of the year, the school with the most points earns the Tri-Corner Hat Trophy.

Can you feel the excitement? Does the tradi­tion overwhelm you? Are you brimming with hate for GW? Of course the answer to all of those questions is simple: No.

The announcement of the rivalry bothered me on so many levels that it’s difficult to know where to begin my argument. First of all, you cannot just say, “Hey you’re close by, lets be rivals” and expect it to pan out.

Rivalries are supposed to be based in history, tradition and genuine dislike. There is none of that between Mason and GW. Sure, both schools are named after founding fathers, but the basketball teams have only played 12 times in 47 years of Mason athletics.

Mason is a basketball school. The Atlantic 10 is a basketball conference. Mason already established a rival in the A-10. It’s VCU.

Mason students hated VCU when Mason was in the CAA. VCU students hated Mason.

This is the school that chanted “What’s in your wallet?” when Andre Cornelius was shooting free throws the same season he was suspended for credit card fraud.

Clearly the hostility exists, but you cannot ignore the history either. Both teams made historic Final Four runs in the past ten years, and the basketball games between the schools were epic.

VCU waxed Mason in the CAA Tournament the last time they played, but that was one game after Sherrod Wright knocked down a buzzer beater to end one of the most exciting games I’ve ever seen. Why create a new rivalry when Mason can grow an established one?

So Mason wants another rivalry within the A-10. Creating this competition across all sports might help create interest, but these first few years are going to be a struggle.

Imagine this spring: Mason and GW are tied in the Revolutionary Rivalry. The baseball game between the two schools will decide who will win the Tri-Corner Hat Trophy.

Would Mason students actually go all the way to Arlington to see who gets crowned the victor? Students hardly go to games of the week and those have free food.

The Tri-Corner Hat Trophy is about the only redeeming feature of the Revolutionary Rivalry at this point. The schools borrowed this idea from college football. Drawing inspi­ration from The Old Brass Spittoon (Indiana vs. Michigan St.) and The Platypus Trophy (Oregon vs. Oregon St.), Mason and GW will compete for an obscure artifact.

The only thing that could make this better would be a ceremonial crowning of the victor’s athletic director when the yearly competition ends.

When I first heard about the new “rivalry,” I thought the architects applied some Rage Against the Machine logic here. You know, like Guerilla Radio:“It has to start somewhere. It has to start sometime. What better place than here, what better time than now?”

While I know the song might not have inspired this rivalry, the idea behind it applies.

Why not start a rivalry?

Ultimately, rivalries take years to develop. In 25 years, the Revolutionary Rivalry could very well be relevant. I honestly hope it is, but for right now and for a while to come, this rivalry is bogus.